Friday, July 10, 2009


July 10th 2009

Didn't feel creative today. I have a bad habit of when I start something I go at it for hours and then don't feel like it the next day.

I have been contemplating today what to do about my creativity. I would love to make crazy quilts, looking at other people's makes my heart sing, they are so organic and have so much texture and colour, all the things I love. However, finding the elements I need is proving to be a challenge in this city. No one sells silk ribbon to make flowers, finding lace is going to be another challenge and everything is so spread out, as I said yesterday, I will have to spend hours travelling. It is going to be very expensive to build up a stock of fabrics, theads and embellishments, that's if I can even find them, so I don't know whether to carry on with it or not.

I have also realized that everything I do has a huge learning curve for me because I have not really developed my artistic skills over my lifetime and everything is self-taught and from books. It can be very frustrating at times - like yesterday trying to learn the embroidery stitches. I watched this video over and over, the woman was demonstrating how to do the stitch so I was standing with my back to the tv trying to follow her because I couldn't do it looking at it reversed. LOL

It seems that everything I would like to try requires a large amount of money to get going. I have hundreds of dollars worth of art supplies but always seem to need something new. I live in a studio apartment, half of it is living space and half of it is my studio. If I got rid of all my art supplies, my apartment would be almost empty.

I have learned over the past fifteen years that material possessions are not important and so my needs are few. I live very simply and am content with that.

When my life as I knew it ended fifteen years ago, my desire to be an artist - a dream since childhood - was all I felt I had left, so it has been a bit frightening to contemplate what would be left if I didn't have my art. Maybe that's why I have a struggle creating. Who and what would I be? What would I do all day if I wasn't thinking about creating something, looking through my art books, actually creating and going in search of something new.

I have so many mixed feelings and feel like I need to decide which direction to take, financially and for my own sanity.

Oh, for a studio with a station for computer and printer, one for sewing, one for painting and one for working with paper. A huge stock of fabrics, threads, embellishments, and many different kinds of papers. Delicious.


  1. What about shopping on the internet instead? I know it isn't the same.... I guess the best way to deal with the cost of art might be to set a budget. To spend so much on new supplies each month and to have to use existing supplies the rest of the time. I just about manage this but I so understand. I always seem to have to push off in some new direction.

    I want to have a go at encaustic art for instance and getting set up for that is not cheap! Silk painting has been interesting. My first project and I had only four colours of paint. With each project I get more colours...

    This is in response to the comment you posted on my blog...

    No problem Leone. I have added The Way we Were to my amazon wish list, thank you! I hope you enjoy those two books!

    The RNLI is a big part of any life that involves the sea in this country. They are the safety net. We have so much coast in this country that there are a lot of opportunities for the RNLI....

    Believe me, I have spent a lot of time thinking about that chap as well. His name was Jonathon Boone and he was a local. The irony is that he apparently didn't much like the beach and hadn't been in years. I have a face to go with the events now.

    I knew when I went to bed that he was dead which was why I couldn't sleep. As soon as I started thinking about the currents and tides there at that time, I knew he was no longer on the surface of the sea.

    I think your RNLI synchronicity is a nudge at me.... They have been cropping up in my life a lot this week too.

  2. I have too much stuff - including art materials. I am trying to deal with it this summer.
    I know I want to create but question my ability. I do not have a lot of training. I have taken courses but in many different areas. I have enjoyed the courses mind you.
    I so enjoy seeing your art. I know now that when I do not create I feel like I am missing something.

    I was visiting Rowena's site and saw a listing for a site. Clicked on and found an incredible commencement speech by J.K. Rowling. I have read and loved all her books.
    Anyway the speech was filled with great advice - thought you might like it:

    Do take care. There are lots of us who care about you.

  3. I'm sorry that you are hitting a low-spirited patch, but I have confidence that the creative juices are still there flowing. How about finding some of your material through second-hand stores, yard sales, etc.? Being able to imagine how materials can be transformed is a creative act in itself.