June 24th 2009
Well, the critic finally caught up to me. I kept way in the background for two weeks and then there it was. Looking at other people's blogs, at their creative destruction of their journals and all the beautiful art and decided that my art is childish and uncreative and my journal wrecking is boring and unimaginative and I have just came to a standstill.
In addition to this, my ex-husband's ash scattering is this weekend and I, for some unknown reason, decided I would go. This opened a can of worms that would have been better not being opened and it also opened some of the wounds from my time with him that are always there but way in the distance. The wounds are healed but the scars seem to be there forever it seems.
Along with helping my neighbour and getting involved with the newsletter and the social club in the building I have become a little overwhelmed and uncentered. So, today I need to get myself centered again and finish the art journal page I started the other day. I liked the background and didn't want to cover it up and sat for a couple of hours trying to decide what to do and couldn't decide on anything because the critic was there trashing everything I thought of. So, I am just going to go with something today and that will be it.
My destructive inner critic has controlled my creativity for so long I will not let it win this time.