Monday, August 3, 2009

I saw these in my travels yesterday and was fascinated with them. I have never seen roses that look them before. They almost looked like wax. And they didn't have a smell. I couldn't reach them to smell but a young man stopped to look at them too and he leaned over for a sniff of them.

Doing The Artist's Way this time is taking me much deeper than it did before. It's interesting that the first time I did it my life was 'as I knew it'. In the interim my life collapsed around me and now when I am doing it again, I am coming out the other side. I guess I have come through what is referred to as the Dark Night Of The Soul. That's what it feels like. The issues are all the same but they are becoming clearer because there is not so much emotion around them, I have worked through them. I feel like I am finally integrating all the parts of my life.

As I said yesterday, I have feeling of fear and anxiety around creating because it is a risk and I can be judged and nothing I do it worth anything anyway. These are the beliefs I have lived with and who can perform with that kind of negativity? I am beginning to recoginize the feelings of fear and anxiety and also how I numb out. The trouble is when I numb out the bad feelings, I also numb out the good feelings. Now that I can actually 'feel' these things instead of just knowing them intellectually maybe I will be able to work my way through them.

I have been wanting to draw some faeries but couldn't get the body postures right. I walked into a bookstore today and there was a book called The Girls' Book of Flower Fairies. It has great pictures in it that will help me with the postures and if full of flowers so I have some guidelines for my pictures. It really is a cute book. Serendipity. I also picked up a great book on mushrooms yesterday. I know - more books. *grin*

I have a bit of a dilemma and I would appreciate comments on it if anyone feels so inclined. My neighbour, who is a very good artist who has earned her living with her art, has been painting faeries and writing a book for several months. When I bought my faeries the other day I decided I would like to paint some and didn't think about her at the time. We had a conversation about cameras and printers the other day, I showed her my printers and printed some pictures of her pictures for her and then after was concerned that she might think I was copying her. I don't know whether to just go ahead or talk to her about it. I would hate her to think I was copying her. My vision of what a faerie would look like is not too different from hers although I'm sure they would look very different.

My newsletter went out and I've had lots of good feedback from it. Another step out of hiding.


  1. i am loving the roses (of course!) Glad the newsletter went down well!

    Was the book one of Cicely Mary Barker's? Her books are so lovely. I remember them as a child and I bought my niece one. To be honest, if you arn't competing with her then she has no real right to have an issue. I don't expect you will be bringing out a book? (or do you have secret plans for full fairy domination?). You have a freedom to draw / paint / collage as many fairies as you like and you could even ask her advice!

    I so no the attitude trickling down thing - seen it action a few times but also you only need one bad apple... Glad you enjoyed the books - I think they are lovely and I love the magic, the gift of books I think is my favourite so far! I shall add the Outlander series to my amazon list!

  2. I think full disclosure is always best in these situations - at least you'll feel better having cleared it up... Rose says, you're doing this for your own interest, your own personal artistic growth and as far as I know, no-one has ever copyrighted a faery...;)

    Think - how many Kelly-Rae-esque doll paintings do you see around? Lots...but 99.9% of the people are doing it to learn a technique or for their own personal art/crafts....

  3. Thanks Rose and Mel, good point about Kelly-Rae-esque doll paintings.
    The faerie book is by Frederick Warne but the illustrations are by Barker.

  4. You seem to be moving deep and staying the course with the Artist's Way. Good for you! I wonder if what holds me back sometimes is that the way-things-are, as limiting as it can be, is still what I'm used to, what I know how to navigate. Sounds like you're moving into the "place beyond the known" - both necessary and sometimes frightening. May you travel well and safely in the new places you are discovering! (Lovely roses...)