Wow, major milestone in my recovery from being broken, I have facilitated two meetings with about thirty people and attended one with seven people and managed to get through them all and not run and hide after and stay in bed for a week. The first meeting went really well, the second was awful, I got bombarded from every side and managed to deal with things but finally closed it because it was a disaster and the third one I took control of from the start instead of sitting back and letting two people run over me. It is so strange for me to just open my mouth and let what I want to say come out. I feel like a bitch, and the strange thing is that I care only a smidgen. I spent hours writing a letter and then two people sat in the second large meeting and totally undermined me in front of the three people that we are trying to deal with. Anyway, the outcome of the second meeting was that I would change some things in the letter - even though so many people were happy with it - but when I got the letter that had the changes that one of the other people at the meeting wrote, I found that he had re-written one major section of the letter. I spent an after noon re-writing it incorporating what he wanted with what I had already written. It has been quite the process and I nearly lost it a couple of times. In some situations I have infinite patience, in others I can be quite impatient and this was one of those situations. Anyway, the letter is finished, has been given approval by the sub-committee and now I am looking for a lawyer to check it out because one of the residents we are trying to deal with has threatened to sue us. I doubt he can because we have proof of everything in the letter.

This is such a drag because, as seniors, all we want is a little peace and quiet. On the other hand, we have to stand up for our rights. It just appalls me that the owners of the building and property managers don't deal with things as they should, therefore leaving us to have to demand - in a most polite way, of course - that they deal with it. Everyone has been very supportive and relieved that the situations are being dealt with, they have also complimented me on how well I handled the meetings - even the bad one - so now it will be interesting to see how many people sign the letter. I have also had to come head to head with the caretaker a few times so it has been pretty stressful. At this point, I still feel strong.

Apart from it being a drag, I have learned a great deal and would never do the same process again - there would not be a second meeting - big mistake!

I am feeling very frustrated because after doing all this and dealing with the side-effects of the pesticide (still am), I don't feel centered enough to do any art. I have been working on my crazy quilting because I find it relaxing, but I would like to be doing some painting as well. I didn't have to do this stuff but there is a part of me that just won't sit back and let these situations continue, I guess it's the social worker in me but also that I am inherently outraged by injustice.

Jazmine is back! My daughter is working such long hours, she felt Jazmine wasn't getting enough attention -she was howling a lot so must have been feeling pretty lonely. I am happy to have her back and we are cuddling lots.

That's about it for now. I hope my next post is more about all the art I have been doing.